Hot Weather, Hot Flashes: Summer Skin & Body Confidence Tips

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Because you deserve to feel good in your skin—even when the sun is out to ruin your vibe.

Whew. Let’s talk about it.

Hot weather can be hard for anyone, but when you’re dealing with chronic pain, low energy, body image struggles, or (surprise!) hot flashes in your 30s—summer can feel like a personal attack. If you're anything like me, the moment temperatures rise, your body starts feeling more like a slow cooker than a temple.

This summer hit Upstate NY like a wave. The air has been so thick and swampy that it felt like trying to breathe through a wet towel. My sleep’s been a mess (shout out to sleep apnea for making things worse), and don't even get me started on how quickly my mood flips when I'm overheating. Between meds, dehydration, and the chaos of just existing in a body that's been through some things… let’s just say, I’ve had moments where I genuinely felt like I was slowly roasting from the inside out.

But I’ve learned a few things along the way. And today, I want to share some real, not-too-fussy tips to help you stay cool, confident, and compassionate with yourself—even when the weather and your brain are not on your side.

1. Hydration Is Not a Vibe, It’s Survival

Let’s be honest—hydration in the summer isn’t some cute TikTok wellness trend. For me, it’s a literal survival tactic. When the heat rolls in and my meds mess with my internal thermostat, I’m sweating buckets one moment and freezing in my bones the next. That’s not poetic exaggeration—it’s the joy of chronic illness and hormonal chaos colliding in July.

And let me tell you: drinking plain water? Not always the move. I’m sensitive to weird mineral tastes, and when tap water has that faint metallic tinge, I’m instantly done. That’s why I keep an entire lineup of hydration options right next to where I sleep—lemonade, iced teas, water with flavor drops, or my trusty Circle tops (lifesavers when the local water tastes off). I even rotate through coconut water or electrolyte drinks on really intense days, especially if I’m sweating more or feeling faint. And on days where I go out, I am for sure treating myself with Dunkin' or Starbucks. I'm not going to let a drink that I paid someone to make for me go to waste, that’s for sure.

You don’t wait until your car runs out of gas to refill it. Your body deserves the same consideration—especially when you’re fighting through fatigue, pain, or brain fog. I’ve had days where I felt dizzy and emotionally short-circuited, only to realize I hadn’t had a real drink in hours. So now I hydrate like it’s my job. Even when I’m not thirsty. Even when I’m lying in bed just trying to get through the day.

Not sweating? That’s not some “feminine blessing”—that’s a red flag. I learned the hard way that when your body stops producing sweat, it can spiral into heatstroke territory fast. Meds, dehydration, or even underlying conditions can cause that. So don’t wait. Sip often. Sip early. Sip like your joy depends on it—because it kind of does.

2. Sun Protection Is Self-Compassion

Edited Photo Original by Collins Lesuile

Here’s something I didn’t always understand: just because you’re Black doesn’t mean you don’t need sunscreen. I used to think my melanin gave me some sort of sun immunity. Turns out, nope—I still burn, and quite badly when I do. I still get sun fatigue. And I still have to take skin protection seriously.

Summers in upstate New York are wild. One week it's 58°F and gloomy; the next it’s 93°F with hot, almost swampy air so thick you feel like you’re breathing through soup. My skin doesn't always get a chance to adapt. And after long winters where I’m bundled up and barely see sunlight, it’s easy to forget how brutal that first wave of UV can be.

That’s why I don’t mess around anymore. I keep a bottle of SPF 60 lotion in my cabinet and a mini version for quick reapplication, especially if I’m outside for more than 30 minutes. If I'm indoors for most of the day, I still try to apply it—just on the off chance I'm going to end up outside. On high-pain days when just existing feels like work, I still try to show up for myself by protecting my skin. Because that, to me, is a radical act of self-love.

And listen—if greasy sunscreen textures freak you out (same!), there are lightweight versions, dry-touch finishes, and even makeup-setting sprays with SPF built in. Explore until you find something that works for you. You’re not being extra. You’re being responsible. You’re showing future-you that they matter too.

3. Cold Cloths and Cooler Showers Are Your Summer Glow-Up

Let me tell you something: I used to be the queen of lava-level showers. I’d crank that water up until it felt like my worries were steaming right off my skin. But this summer? Yeah, we’re switching up the vibe.

These days, I’m choosing cool showers like a nervous system reset button. Not freezing, but just cool enough to bring my body temp down and help with inflammation. If I’m in a flare, if I’ve had a rough night with my sleep apnea, or if I’m just overwhelmed by the weight of everything—cool water brings me back to baseline.

And the cold cloth trick? Game changer. I keep a washcloth in the freezer during peak heat waves. I’ll wrap a few crushed-up ice cubes in it, roll it up like a soft little burrito, and press it to the back of my neck or chest. I’ve done it while cooking. While resting. While writing. While spiraling. It grounds me.

Yes, I’ve also stood over the AC vent with my shirt lifted like a summer gremlin. And no, I will not apologize. Comfort over cute. Relief over repression. You are allowed to feel good in your body, especially when the world outside is melting.

4. Dress for Your Body, Not Someone Else’s Timeline

There’s something truly freeing about getting dressed for this version of your body—not the “after” version you’re waiting on.

I spent so many summers wearing old outfits that didn’t quite fit my body—or my energy. But now? Now I prioritize breathability, stretch, and softness. Cotton, linen, and flowy blends are my ride-or-dies.

I love dresses, don’t get me wrong—but they’ve got to let my skin breathe. No thick knits. No clingy polyester prison dresses. Just light, airy pieces that move with me. And when I want to feel more secure, I’ll layer some anti-chafe shorts underneath. Not feeling a dress today? Let’s rock a comfy tank with some soft capris.

Swimsuits are getting a refresh too. It’s been a decade since I bought a new one. What? Like how could I not have noticed that I was skipping out on a fun part of summer? My Harley Quinn swimsuit has its perfect moments still, but it’s not for each and every beach or pool trip. And you know what? That’s okay. I’ve changed. I have new interests. My body has changed. And I deserve to wear something that fits the moment—not a screen-ready cosplay look when I’m just vibing.

So go find that outfit that makes you feel like you. That lets your thighs breathe. That hugs the parts of you that need comfort and lets the rest just be. You don’t need to shrink to be worthy of summer joy.

5. Chafing? Let’s Fix That Right Now

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Let’s talk about the unspoken villain of summer: thigh chafing. Not cute. Not fun. Not something you just “power through.”

When I say chafing has ruined entire outings for me, I mean it. One minute you’re walking through the fair, feeling cute in your sundress. The next? Your thighs feel like someone lit them on fire and rubbed salt into the wounds. Then there’s the awkward waddle afterward as you try not to rub your thighs together like it’s your job. Because OW, chafing is no joke.

But we are not about suffering silently anymore.

There are actual products that work. I know a few people who are fans of Megababe Thigh Rescue and Monistat’s chafing gel. Even a swipe of deodorant can save the day if you’re in a pinch. Or, if you're like me, you can use what Grandma told me—cornstarch. It works wonders, and most people have it in their kitchen. You can also use coconut oil or petroleum jelly.

If you didn’t know about some of these before reading this article and you’re already chafed, don’t worry—I have a few ideas to help soothe the pain. Aloe vera gel is well known for calming inflamed skin. While it’s a bit sticky until it dries, it works. Or you can try an oatmeal bath—great if you have a sunburn too. Just grind up a cup or two of plain, uncooked oatmeal and add it to the tub. (Please don’t try grinding already-cooked oatmeal. I love you, but no.)

Also: don’t be ashamed of this. Bodies have friction. Skin moves. This doesn’t mean you’re “too big” or “too much.” It means you’re alive. You’re moving. You’re living. Protect your joy with the same energy you’d give to someone you love.

6. Body Confidence Isn’t About Perfection—It’s About Permission

I’ll be real: I don’t wake up every day loving my body. Some days, I avoid the mirror. Some days, I pick myself apart like a bad movie critique. And yeah—some days, I don’t feel sexy, strong, or even present.

But you know what I try to offer myself instead? Permission.

Permission to be seen even when I feel awkward. Permission to wear the outfit. To laugh too loud. To jiggle when I dance. To sweat and swear and show up anyway.

Because this body has carried me through chronic pain, mental breakdowns, grief, heartbreak, and healing. This body lets me kiss my partners, create beautiful makeup looks, play games that make me feel alive, and dream of more.

That’s not failure. That’s power.

Body confidence isn’t about believing every part of you is perfect. It’s about showing up anyway. It’s about not letting shame steal the sunlight from your life.

So this summer? Be a little reckless with your joy. Be bold with your softness. You’re allowed to be complicated and worthy at the same time.

This Summer Is Still Yours

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Just because you’re not on vacation, or at your goal weight, or glowing with radiant self-love doesn’t mean you’re not allowed to enjoy summer.

You’re allowed to enjoy your body as is. You’re allowed to take up space in your AC unit, in your friend’s pool, in the world. You’re allowed to say, “I’m doing the best I can,” and mean it.

So drink your water. Rest when you need to. Swish that iced tea. Layer your SPF. And celebrate the small wins—like surviving a hot day without passing out or rocking a new summer outfit that makes you smile.

And if you’re ever wondering if anyone else is struggling through the sweat, discomfort, or mental spirals of summer too—know that I’m right there with you. Learning. Adjusting. Trying again. And still finding ways to glow through it all.

Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

What are your summer essentials? How do you stay cool and confident?

Drop your thoughts in the comments or send me a message—I’d love to hear from you.

And remember, you don’t have to be positive every day.

You just have to be present. And that’s more than enough.