Cultivating Confidence: How to Feel Great in Your Skin

Happy Thursday, everyone! We are off to an awesome start for the New Year! Today we are going to talk about being confident in our own skin. This is never an easy conversation because even the most confident of people have their own self-image issues. I will be using a lot of personal experience in today's post, because I have had body image issues for years, for several different reasons. Today, I will be getting very real with all of you with this topic; so real that I will be including pictures so you can truly understand that when it comes to body confidence I understand how difficult it is!

For those of you who are a part of our Marcevolution community, you get our weekly newsletter in which we talked about weighing things in strength not pounds this week; mentioning also how we all have different body shapes that are not always by choice. My life has been spent in ups and downs when it has come to my body confidence, and my weight. Some of it had to do with medical issues but others was just stress.

For anyone who doesn't know a lot of medical, I stand at 5 feet 6 inches tall, and in 2019 was informed that in order to be considered truly "healthy" at my height I needed to weigh a minimum of 130 pounds. This was, in fact, a discussion that I had had with my nurse at the time. She had pulled out a handy little weight wheel that her office had in which she could pull part of it to my height, and then spin the wheel around to find the green showing what is considered a normal healthy weight range.

In these twelve pictures, you will see the difference in my body shape; most of which was contributed by a combination of the amount of physical exercise I was or was not doing and the weight I was at the time. These pictures span from 2009 (prior to my turning 18) to today. There is a five year period where I have no pictures of myself, but will make a quick mention about what my weight looked like at the time. During that time, I was the unhealthiest I have ever been since I turned 18. Some of these pics have been cropped, specifically for the privacy of those who were in the pictures with me outside of the one picture which is (quite obviously) your Marcevolution Founders.

I generally keep good records of my weight changes, but the information I am about to include, it will say "about" due to the fact that my weight fluctuated during that time frame; or, most recently, because I haven't been weighed in the last couple of weeks.

1. JAN 2009 2. APR 2010

*not yet 18 *pre kids

*about 125-130 lbs *about 105 lbs

3. SEP 2012 4. DEC 2017

    *about 110-115 lb *post partum X2

     *about 105 lbs

5. APR 2018 6. SEP 2018

    *about 107-112 lbs *about 123 lbs

7. MAR 2019 8. MAY 2020

    *about 113-115 lbs *about 130-132 lbs

9. JUN 2021 10. JUN 2022

    *about 127 lbs *about 135 lbs

11. FEB 2023 12. TODAY

    *about 156 lbs *about 146-148 lbs

Now, looking at those early pictures before I look like I was very healthy but realistically I was not. I won't lie, I did feel much better about how my body looked more than I do now; but a lot of that has to do with the fact that I am in the process of toning my body and so I have a lot of fat still. Now, in those missing five years I had both my children. What I do not have, is a picture of about May/June in 2015 which is right before I got pregnant with my youngest; when I got pregnant, I was only 98 pounds. You may argue that some of these would look different regardless because of the clothes I was wearing. This can be considered true as many people in the fashion industry will tell you that black is very slimming on a person.

The reason for these pictures and the information on them is because of the fact that in each of these pictures I was at a very different chapter in my life at every point. Still a kid, married, divorced, no kids, kids, dating someone new, trying to have a go at a modeling career... at least two of them I had recently been grieving deaths of family members. In each of these, I was at varying points of my body confidence; my confidence today is very different from where it was in, say, picture three or four.

The one thing that I have learned throughout each of these photos is this: rock what you've got! In eight, I was super confident because I had finally hit that healthy weight yet I still felt really thin; however, in eleven I didn't feel as confident because I felt the fat in my arms bunching. Despite how I felt about how I looked, though, that was definitely a fun night! Even for the pic taken literally this morning, I have zero confidence in it because I can see what most people call the "muffin top" and I hate that about my body.

Confidence in Your Own Skin

Self-confidence is an ongoing journey, and it's completely okay to have those days when you don't feel like the superhero you truly are. However, letting negative thoughts linger can take a toll on your mental health. So, how do you combat those moments of self-doubt? By being your own biggest supporter.

When you stand in front of the mirror, see more than just your reflection; see the journey, the resilience, and the beauty that comes from embracing who you are. Make it a daily habit to acknowledge your strengths and appreciate the unique qualities that make you, well, you. Be kind to yourself in the same way you would to a friend going through a tough time. After all, you deserve your own love and encouragement.

Self-confidence isn't built overnight; it's a gradual process that involves incorporating positive habits into your daily life. Surround yourself with a supportive community—friends, family, or like-minded individuals who uplift and encourage you. Engage in activities that bring you joy and a sense of accomplishment. Whether it's a hobby, exercise, or learning something new, these experiences can enhance your self-esteem. Focus on what your body can do rather than how it looks. Practicing mindfulness and gratitude can also be powerful tools. Taking a moment each day to appreciate the unique qualities you possess fosters a deeper connection with yourself and contributes to a more positive self-image.

Challenge negative thoughts by consciously replacing them with positive affirmations. An effective technique, which I've come across online and witnessed others adopt, involves creating uplifting post-it notes with positive messages and strategically placing them in spots you encounter daily. These could be locations like your fridge, bathroom mirror, car visor, or even on your bedroom/bathroom door. Consider keeping one in your wallet, ensuring you come across it when needed. As you repeatedly see these messages, written in your own handwriting, you empower your mind to transform negative self-talk such as "I look horrible today..." into affirmations like "Wow, my hair/makeup looks fantastic today!" or even "My outfit is on point!" This simple yet powerful practice can gradually reshape your mindset and enhance your self-perception.

Remember, the relationship you have with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship in your life. So, why not make it the most empowering and uplifting one? Embrace the journey, celebrate the victories (big and small), and, above all, be your own biggest fan. Because when you radiate self-love, that confidence becomes the most beautiful thing about you. You've got this!