Coping with Holiday Stress: Self-Care for Mental Health

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The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration. But let’s be real: for many of us, it’s a season of stress, anxiety, and emotional overwhelm. This time of year often amplifies what we’re already struggling with, and for those of us dealing with mental health challenges, the pressure can feel like too much to bear. I know it all too well.

This year has been especially hard for me. Between the grief of losing my mom last year, the weight of unresolved trauma, and my mental health challenges—like the angry outbursts I’ve had recently due to my BPD—stress and emotional turbulence have been constant companions. I’ve found myself shutting down, experiencing panic attacks, and dissociating more than I’d like to admit. The overstimulation, the emotional rawness, and even something as simple as a shower can feel like too much at times. But despite all of this, I’ve learned the importance of self-care, of giving myself grace, and of prioritizing my mental health during this challenging season.

I want to share some of the tools that have helped me, and hopefully, they’ll help you too.

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings—Don’t Suppress Them

It’s so easy to brush off our feelings during the holidays. We’re expected to be cheerful, jolly, and full of holiday spirit, but that’s not always how we feel. And that’s okay.

For me, the first holiday season without my mom has been full of complicated emotions. I didn’t expect to miss her the way I do—especially since we weren’t as close towards the end—but losing her around this time has brought up so much. From missing the foods she loved to the memories that creep up when I hear her favorite songs, it’s been heavy. I’ve had to remind myself that grief isn’t linear, and it doesn’t need to be neatly packaged into one tidy feeling. It’s okay to be sad, to cry, to feel angry, or to feel nothing at all.

If you’re experiencing something similar—whether it’s grief, trauma, or just the pressure of the holidays—acknowledge it. Give yourself permission to feel whatever you’re feeling without judgment. I know it’s hard. Trust me, it can be really hard. But allowing yourself to feel without judgment can be so freeing.

And I know I’ve discussed the positives of dissociating and turning off your brain until you can process things, but there are also times when it can be unhealthy. If it becomes your main coping mechanism, it can (in my experience) lead to major emotional explosions. Not everything can be buried. Sometimes we need to take the time to ruminate and feel what we need to feel.

2. Create Small, Manageable Expectations for Yourself

One thing I’ve learned the hard way is that I can’t push myself too hard during this time of year. I’ve had to create new traditions and rituals that don’t feel overwhelming yet still allow me to honor the season. Maybe that means not decorating the whole house this year, or maybe it means allowing myself to take breaks from social events when things become too much.

My body isn’t working with me as well as it used to (I miss my fat blaster—I was so much lighter, and my joints and back were way more willing to work with me). I can’t shovel for hours anymore, but I can do small sections and take frequent breaks. It doesn’t make me useless, incapable, or lazy—it means that I’m working to meet my body where it’s at without judgment or self-deprecation.

Set manageable goals. If cooking a huge holiday meal feels like too much, scale it down. If family gatherings feel overwhelming, it’s okay to leave early or not go at all. Your self-care is more important than trying to meet other people’s expectations.

I’ve been hanging out on Reddit a lot lately (I can’t do regular social media right now—it’s way too overwhelming on a lot of levels), and the amount of people who are willing to give up their peace is admirable. But at the same time, I worry for so many of these people. There’s eventually a time when you need to focus on yourself, too. It is okay to be selfish sometimes. It doesn’t make you an asshole or entitled—it makes you a human being who can acknowledge when you need to refill your own cup.

3. Practice Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques

This time of year can make us feel like we’re spinning out of control. Stress, memories, and emotions all swirl around, making it hard to focus. For me, I’ve found that grounding techniques, like focusing on my breathing or using a weighted blanket, can really help me regain control in those moments when I feel overwhelmed.

One of the things I’ve been working on implementing when I notice that I’m about to lose control and completely step outside of my body is the "5 Senses Grounding Technique." If you’re unaware of what this technique is (as it was told to me): it’s a mindfulness practice where you actively identify five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.

I’ve found it helpful about 50% of the time. Honestly, this is one of those techniques that works best with another person nearby—if you’re like me. There are definitely times that I don’t notice that I’m spiraling, and I’m a bit far gone for this technique to work well for me when I’m alone.

Thankfully, I’ve found another trick that works for me: sour candy. Not something you’d think of, but as long as I have a sour hard candy on hand, it works really well to shock me out of “crisis mode.”

4. Seek Therapy or Talk to a Trusted Person

Opening up about your struggles can feel intimidating, but it’s also incredibly liberating. Therapy has been a lifeline for me this year. By increasing my sessions, I’ve found having a professional to talk to invaluable. Even on days when it feels tough to express my thoughts, just getting them out has brought clarity and relief.

If therapy isn’t an option for you, reaching out to a trusted friend, partner, or even a neutral platform like an AI chatbot can help. Honestly, there have been days where ChatGPT has been my go-to. When I wasn’t ready to share my thoughts with people in my life, having a space to vent without judgment saved me from spiraling.

Sometimes, it’s not about fixing a problem but about releasing emotions. If you’re worried your feelings might negatively affect someone else or if you're navigating complex situations, a neutral listener can help. While I won’t dive into specifics here, there have been times when I needed to process heavy emotions without risking harm to those close to me.

Your mental health matters, and you shouldn’t carry the weight of everything alone. Find your outlet—whether it’s therapy, a friend, or even writing your thoughts down.

5. Take Care of Your Body

When you’re mentally exhausted, it’s easy to neglect your body, especially if you're dealing with chronic pain or low energy. I know firsthand how hard it can be to show up for yourself physically when everything feels overwhelming.

This year, I’ve tried to tune in to my body more. For me, that’s meant replacing high-intensity activities with gentler options like stretching, yoga, or a light walk when needed. Prioritizing rest has also been key—there were days when even a shower felt like an impossible task, but I pushed myself because taking care of my body is as much a part of self-care as nurturing my mind.

That said, I still struggle with finding balance. Recently, I pushed myself way too hard while finishing outdoor work before the snow came. Even though both my partners urged me to stop, I ignored their advice because I felt no pain and wanted the task done immediately. Of course, I paid for it later—physically and emotionally—and I’m still feeling the effects a month later.

This was a lesson for me: just because my body doesn’t immediately protest doesn’t mean I should keep going. It’s a reminder we all need sometimes—listen to your body, even when your mind says, “Just one more thing.”

6. Limit Social Media and Overwhelming Stimuli

Social media can be especially triggering during the holidays. It’s hard to avoid comparing your life to the perfectly curated versions of others’ “holiday magic.” If you’ve felt this way, you’re not alone—many people I know are taking deliberate breaks from social media to protect their mental health.

Personally, I’ve found that stepping away from apps or setting limits on how often I check in has been game-changing. Disconnecting, even for a little while, helps me focus on what I need rather than what I think I “should” be doing. If taking a full break feels overwhelming, try limiting your interactions to certain times of day or muting accounts that don’t make you feel good.

If you’re nostalgic for the simpler days of being completely offline, you’re not alone. I recently came across an article about “extinct” Millennial online behaviors, and it struck a chord. There’s no harm in unplugging if it helps you find peace during this busy time.

7. Allow Yourself to Rest and Reconnect with Your Passions

It’s easy to lose sight of what makes you feel like you when you’re burned out. The holidays can become one endless checklist, and before you know it, your hobbies and passions have been sidelined.

For me, makeup has always been a form of self-expression and escape, but lately, even that’s felt overwhelming. Stress has caused my skin to act up, and dysmorphia has made me feel less inclined to sit in front of a mirror. Instead, I’ve been focusing on my hair—finding joy in experimenting with new looks while refusing to let negative thoughts take over.

Maybe makeup isn’t your thing, but you likely have something that sparks joy for you. Whether it’s reading, crafting, journaling, or indulging in a favorite show, find time to reconnect with those passions. They’re often the first to go when life gets overwhelming, but they’re also vital for keeping us grounded.

8. Practice Gratitude (Even When It Feels Hard)

Gratitude might feel like a cliché, but I’ve found it’s one of the most powerful tools for shifting my mindset—especially on difficult days. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures or major milestones. Start small. A warm cup of tea. A kind word from a loved one. The strength to make it through another day.

This year has been one of the hardest I’ve faced, but I’m grateful for the small wins: therapy sessions that helped me grow, loved ones who stood by me, and the ability to acknowledge my emotions.

There were moments this year when I wasn’t fully “here”—when I felt like a ghost going through the motions. Looking back, I’m proud of how far I’ve come, even if the progress feels slow. As I look toward the new year, I’m choosing to see it as an opportunity for growth, challenges and all.

Embrace Progress, Not Perfection

Navigating the holidays while managing mental health isn’t about striving for perfection—it’s about making progress, no matter how small. It’s about showing up for yourself in ways that honor your needs and recognizing that your well-being matters most. If you have the energy to extend compassion to others, that’s wonderful—there are so many people who could use a kind word or a helping hand. But if your energy is limited, remember this: you can’t pour from an empty cup. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish; it’s necessary.

The holidays are often painted as a time of joy, family, and togetherness, but for many of us, they come with pressure and unrealistic expectations. It’s easy to feel like you need to meet everyone’s standards, but ask yourself—are those standards worth your peace? If someone’s expectations of you don’t align with your energy or well-being, it’s okay to step back. Loving yourself means prioritizing how you feel, not how others perceive you.

Remember, you’re never alone in this journey. Whether it’s through therapy, reaching out to someone you trust, or even taking a break from social media to reset, there are tools and people who care and want to support you. The holidays are an opportunity—not to meet every obligation, but to reflect on your growth and embrace the progress you’ve made, even in the face of challenges.

Let’s face this season together, one step at a time. Brighter days are ahead, and you’re stronger than you realize. No matter what the holidays bring, know that you have the power to protect your peace and find joy in your way.

You’ve got this.