Confidence, Consoles & Contour

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When the world feels heavy, I often reach for a worn eyeshadow brush or a game controller. Not to disappear—but to feel like me again. There’s something deeply healing in the way colors blend across my eyelids or quests unfold across a digital landscape. For years, makeup and gaming have been two of my most reliable escape hatches—tools that helped me rediscover confidence when my real life felt out of control.

If you’ve followed my journey before, you might remember I explored this in last year’s Pride article, where I talked about how beauty and identity are deeply tied together. Back then, makeup was my armor, my joy, my way of claiming space in a world that often didn’t understand me. And while I’ve stepped back from it a bit lately—largely due to life, health, and energy—I still feel that pull. I’m slowly coming back to it in small ways.

These days, I’m leaning more into cozy games, self-paced projects, and sustainable creativity. I’ve had to adjust how I show up, especially with my chronic pain and fluctuating mental health. That’s why I’m shifting into more planned, manageable routines. I’m filming in batches now so that if a tough week hits, I don’t have to sacrifice consistency or my well-being. I want to stop feeling like I’m always apologizing for being sick, exhausted, or in pain. It’s not flaky to take care of yourself—it’s responsible. Still, the shame spiral of chronic illness can be brutal, especially when your dreams are bigger than your energy reserves.

But here’s the thing: I’m learning. With the help of my counselor and the people in my life who truly care, I’m untangling the guilt-paralysis cycle and building systems that help me show up—when I’m able. No more empty promises. Just honest effort and real tools. And one of those tools? Escapism that feeds you, instead of just numbing you.

So in this post, I want to dig into the intersection of self-expression and survival. I’ll share why makeup and games like Stardew Valley, Life is Strange, and even GTA V help people like us—especially during something as important as Men’s Mental Health Month. I’ll also be including a link to an incredible list of resources for men from Be The Difference SCV—a mental health awareness campaign that’s doing meaningful work to support men and prevent suicide. Their page includes tools, hotlines, and organizations that offer real help for those who are struggling.

And if this resonates with you, please sign up for the Marcevolution newsletter. It drops on the last Friday of each month and includes my updates, quick recipes to get by in a pinch, and 4 more short articles and reflections for living a little more confidently—even when life’s chaotic.

Escapism Isn’t a Dirty Word

Let’s be real—life gets hard. Chronic pain, depression, trauma, burnout… it all builds up. And when you're living with conditions that feel like arthritis (waiting for a diagnosis to say that it is or not) or recovering from car and/or work injuries, sometimes even getting out of bed feels like climbing Mount Everest.

That’s why escapism matters. Not to ignore the real world, but to give yourself a break. A soft place to land. Breathing room without guilt.

For me, makeup and gaming are those spaces where I can exhale. Where I don’t have to prove anything. Where I can feel like myself again—even if just for a little while.

Makeup: My Soft Mask and My Reflection

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If you’ve followed me for a while, you know how much I love makeup. The bolder, the better. I’ve done looks inspired by holidays, TV shows, TikTok trends, and pure emotion. Some days, I feel like a walking painting. Other days, I’m just trying to recognize myself in the mirror.

Makeup isn’t war paint for me—it’s more like a soft, expressive mask. Not to hide behind, but to explore who I am without words. A little shimmer on my eyelids doesn’t erase my pain, but it does remind me that I’m still here. That I still deserve joy. That even if my body hurts or my mind is tired, I can still add a little beauty to the day.

These days, I’m using lighter tones and softer techniques. Not because I’ve lost my love for drama, but because this version of me needs gentle touches. I'm being myself in a quieter way. Still colorful, still vibrant, just more tuned in to my current energy.

Lately? I haven’t worn much at all. Depression has a way of dimming your shine. And sometimes, mirrors aren’t kind. I had a day not too long ago where I looked at myself and felt like a hippo. I cried. But I’m trying. I’m picking up my brushes again. Filming fun little makeup moments. Remembering what it felt like to like my own face—not because it was perfect, but because it was mine.

Gaming: A World Where I Can Just Be

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I don’t game all day, every day—I still work, create, hustle. But giving myself an hour or two to disappear into a digital world? It’s my reset button. My emotional cool-down. My "don’t have to be strong right now" place.

Sometimes, my boyfriend and I spend the day gaming together—even if we’re playing different games. It’s quality time, comfort, and a little shared joy. He’s even startled when I’ve screamed during scary scenes in "The Forgotten City" (gorgeous game, but those gold statues? Straight-up nightmare fuel. Think Weeping Angels from Doctor Who, but prettier with arrows and judgment).

When I need peace, I reach for "Stardew Valley." No timers, no bosses—just planting crops, upgrading my cabin, exploring the mines, and trying to romance Abigail (yes, please drop tips if you have any!). It’s quiet joy, in pixels.

But when I need to let off steam, I dive into "GTA V." It’s wild. Chaotic. The missions are absurd and sometimes messed up (like, really messed up—Trevor’s storylines need their own trigger warnings). But there’s a weird catharsis in it. Like repo-ing a spoiled kid’s car while weirdly bubbly pop music blasts in the background makes my real-life problems feel more manageable.

And then there's the "Life is Strange" series. That one hits different. Whether I’m rewinding time as Max or sensing emotions as Alex, those stories remind me that sensitivity isn’t a weakness. That caring deeply can be powerful. As someone who’s always picked up on other people’s emotions (even when they deny them), it’s affirming to see emotional intuition treated like a superpower. And yes, I over-explain a lot—because people have made me feel like I had to. Like my side of things was never quite enough without receipts.

Masculinity, Mental Health, and the Quiet Power of Play

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This month isn’t just about Pride (though that’s a big part of my identity too—as a Black, bi/panromantic demisexual woman in a poly relationship). It’s also Men’s Mental Health Month. Even if you don’t identify as male, understanding the emotional lives of the men in your world helps build stronger, safer connections for everyone.

And that matters. I’ve known too many men—friends, classmates, even close loved ones—who struggle in silence. Who were never taught that it’s okay to cry, to be vulnerable, or to ask for help without feeling like they’re failing as men.

Let’s be honest: everyone carries emotional baggage. But men are often told to stuff it down. To be “tough,” “stoic,” “providers.” That kind of pressure? It cracks people. And when those cracks aren’t cared for, they burst: into violence, addiction, depression, numbness. Not because they’re bad—but because no one showed them how to feel safely.

So if you’re a woman reading this and your partner games a lot? Maybe it’s not about laziness. Maybe it’s the only place he can relax. The only time he gets to feel competent or connected.

That doesn’t mean putting up with neglect or disrespect. But sometimes, that controller is a lifeline. A quiet way of saying, “I need this to stay afloat.” And when we understand that, we can meet each other with more compassion.

Escapism Isn’t Gendered—It’s Human

Makeup. Games. Music. Journaling. These are not feminine or masculine things—they’re human things. And they matter.

I’ll be real—I fall off routines. Journaling, for instance? I haven’t been consistent. It started feeling like homework instead of healing. But when I do write—especially when I write down my dreams—I feel clearer. Less trapped in my own head.

You don’t have to be consistent to benefit. You just have to be honest.

I still have moments where I feel like a burden. Where I worry I’m just taking up space. But then I remember why I write, why I share. Because if even one person feels a little less alone reading this? That matters. That gives the pain some purpose.

You don’t have to be at 100% to be worthy.

And neither do I.

What Helps You Reset?

Let’s get real for a second—what brings you back to center?

When the world feels heavy or your sparkle starts to dim, what helps you feel like yourself again?

Vote in the poll below or sound off in the comments!

What’s your personal reset button?

• Makeup – blending beauty and emotion
• Games – escaping into new worlds
• Music – healing through rhythm and lyrics
• Journaling – turning thoughts into clarity

Did I miss your favorite? Drop it in the comments—I’d love to know what helps you breathe easier and feel more grounded.

We all have different lifelines. Let’s celebrate them together.

Your Soft Power is Still Power

Life is messy. It’s painful. Beautiful. Bizarre.

And somehow, through it all—you’re still here. Still trying. Still showing up.

You’re allowed to need a break.

You’re allowed to escape sometimes.

You’re allowed to create magic out of the mess.

Whether you're healing from trauma, piecing yourself back together after heartbreak, or just trying to make it through the damn week—You’re doing amazing.

And I see you.

So take the breath. Pick up the brush. Press play on your favorite playlist. Boot up that comfort game.

Whatever you need to do to feel a little more you, do it without shame.

Because your softness is not weakness.

Your escapism is not failure.

Your joy—especially when it’s hard-won—is revolutionary.

Stay soft. Stay strong. Stay you.